When I was in middle school and high school, my brother EJ and I use to go to Red Hot Inn every Monday to get fried eggs, hash browns, toast, and maybe a piece of pie. (This was before I realized that eggs contain too much egg flavoring for their own good). While there we would read the entertainment sections of several different news papers, including the Detroit Free Press. The DFP had a columnist (and perhaps still does) name Bob Talbert who ever Monday would write his column "Out of My Monday Mornin' Mind." The column basically contained his random thoughts for the week such as "need to go to the super market today and buy eggs . . . so what is a Spice Girl anyway . . . kids don't read enough these days. . ." I am not the journalistic genius that Bob Talbert is so I only hope my imitation is half as incoherent as his.
Why are there not more graphic sports injuries? Off hand I can only think of three injuries that make me cringe . . . Is it possible that no man will make me as happy as George Clooney makes me . . . Cameron Diaz's childhood nickname was Skeletor . . . Harnessing my random thoughts is more difficult than one would thing . . . One time I saw a vulture in real life (well, actually in the zoo, does that count as real life or is it a blend of reality and caged fiction?) and it looked identical to the vulture in Disney's Robin Hood except that he wasn't wearing a helmet or carrying a cross bow. . .
A paragraph break for your reading convenience . . . The idea of a dress with pockets makes me happy, although I would actively avoid purchasing one . . .Why is it that everyone looks good in black and white photographs but me? . . . 50% of the interviews I have had in 2007 I have mentioned the movie Legally Blonde . . . It seems unfair that everyone (I am not sure who this everyone includes) knows Babylon gods but not their (superior) Sumerian predecessors . . . Birds and giants are terrifying. As a general rule I am suspicious of anything that can crap on me from overhead . . . I have no opinion of Cate Blanchett except that I hate her . . . Dressing room clothing limits make me nervous. If I want to try on twenty things I should be able to try them all on without having to swap out items . . .
I think cold cuts, lettuce, and tomato sandwiched in between two slices of cold pizza is the most disgusting thing in the world. If I had been on that season of the Apprentice, I would have begged Donald to fire me rather than sample that monstrosity. . . Thinly sliced turkey is as a general rule disgusting . . . Because American Gladiators is no longer on the air, I have no incentive to work out. . . When you can hear someone blowing their nose on the other side of a wall perhaps they are blowing just a bit too hard . . . Do you think that King Midas and the Emperor (from the Emperor's New Clothes) were contemporaries? I like the idea of them meeting to sign a treaty or whatever it is foreign leaders do (I actually don't have any idea). When they go to sign the treat, the Emperor attempts to reach into his imaginary coat pocket for a pen but than King Midas says "No, I have one" but when he touches the pen the pen and the ink turn to gold and is no good for treaty signing. Let's just face it, a treaty between King Midas and the Emperor is just never going to get signed. . .
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3 comments:
That was the best thing ever! I'm so jealous of the Emperor/Midas bit that I actually have to step outside and get some fresh air.
I was just going to remark how great the Emperor/ Midas bit was.
I was really thinking about how Clint Eastwood is like King Midas to Paul Haggis' crap. Somehow from there I started thinking about naked people and it just sort of happened organically from there.
I think it could be a decent idea for a short story or a good short lived Comedy Central animated series. But my attention span with things other than George Foreman is too short to do anything else with it.
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