Monday, July 6, 2009

Out of my Tuesday Twilight Thinkin': Early Edition

The sight of my beloved Shaq holding a Cleveland Cavs jersey makes me violently ill . . . I find myself oddly and embarrassingly excited that "The Wizards of Waverly Place" is on right now . . . I saw an article the other day about the statistically safest places to sit in an airplane and I got really excited because as a child I was really obsessed with how to get out of a car if it is ever submerged in a lake. This article could make how to survive a plane crash the new how to get out of a car submerged in a lake but then I saw an article about Michael Jackson's will and forgot all about the airplane article. Guess car submerged in a lake retains its top spot for another day . . .

NBA free agency is my Christmas in July . . . who is the girl on the Biore commercial who is too old for acne but to young for wrinkles? I am so concerned about for her and her perfect skin. I dearly hope she can find a face wash . . . I want to have a love affair with Roger Federer's hair . . . the only think keeping me from a successful career as a reality tv star is HD tv . . . .

Do judges wear pants? Because if I were a judge there wouldn't be anyone who could talk me into wearing pants to work . . . and there goes my judicial career . . . if I were one cooking utensil I would really love to be the melon baller. So adorable, completely useless in daily life but great for parties . . . I have only received one trophy in my entire life. I received it for being able to read. I proudly display this trophy on my mantle (and by mantle I mean top of the television) . . .

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