Napping on a Warm Afternoon: A Bad Idea

I promised myself in September of 2005 and I would not nap when the weather was warm. It seems that cold weather allows both my body and mind to hibernate. But warm weather does something funny to me. As my body becomes restless and uncomfortable, so does my mind.
How do you know, you ask? Well, dear reader, the answer will disturb and puzzle you. It involves an extended dream about Heinrich Hilter (Hitler's brother) who led a gender segregated band of mole people. This civilization lived below an abandoned planned community from the 1950s and is discovered (I suppose, the dream ended too quickly) by a detective in the future (or a weird present time). The dream is complete with a post-apocalyptic golf tournament featuring Mike Tirico clad in an aluminum foil hat. If you really want to know more, please feel free to ask, I wrote it all down so the details will be with me till the end of time.
Moving on. I apparently did not learn my lesson as I decided to nap on this particularly warm afternoon.
Dream #1: I am Belle in Beauty and the Beast and am renacting the movie. Now this use to be my favorite movie as a child, so at one time this dream would very closely resemble what happened in the movie. Not so much now. What I remember is inserting the fact that the girl who broke the spell needed to be 16 (sort of creepy considering he was in his 30s) and my attempt to save Maurice involved me hiding under a bench. I have, to say the least, weird fears, but being stuck under a dungeon bench is never something I feared until today.
Dream #2: I downloaded software to turn my computer into a Mac. Once downloaded, windows kept popping up and I couldn't close any of them. I kept hitting the "x" but nothing happened! Then someone started g-chatting with me and I couldn't respond! Sure I realize this is not as scary as being stuck under a dungeon bench but I am never buying a Mac after this dream.
Dream #3: I am at my elementary/middle school. I have lots of dreams about my elementary school Creston. Most of them involve a firy, end of times sort of feel. Yes, we could spend time analyzing what this says about my childhood but instead I will move on to the current dream.
I am there in the library with a bunch of law students (all law students shall remain nameless for fear they read this blog, highly unlikely - I know, and will know that I dream about law students in general and them specifically. Plus, this way you can all try to figure out which law student you are in my dream. I bet you'll never guess . . . )
So, in the library they (I don't know who they is, very mysterious) make us all get into a circle and hold hands. On my left is some kid I don't know and on my right is Law Student 1. I am unable to hold hands with LS1 mainly because I am unable to thread my fingers through LS1's. Everyone in the circle is wondering what the hold up is and the mounting pressure is not helping me achieve the hand hold everyone wants. Luckily, everyone quickly becomes disinterested with this hand holding circle thing and starts to leave. I pick up my backpack and join them.
Now I am walking up the stairs with a bunch of female law students. We are all pushing and clawing our way to the top when one of the railings gives way. Two law students have fallen through.
LS2 and 3 are lying flat on their backs. Neither girl is dead, but an ambulance is still called. I am sent on a fruitless search to find two glasses of water. Nothing! The damn teachers did not refill the ice cube trays in the lounge and apparently it is really crucial that there be ice in this water.
I come back empty handed as both girls are being wheeled off and LS2 hands me about ten lacy dresses and asks me to dress up her giant paper doll for her. She then yells at me as I drop them all. Apparently the fall didn't knock the bitch out of her.
Off I go now to find the janitor because he has the elevator key with which we need to use in order to return the giant carts we have been using (for what I don't know). I descend into the evil boiler room heart of my elementary school carrying numerous cds and a shoe box. I finally find the janitor standing in front of a pit of fire and he tells me we can't use the elevator because he has it signed out for the day.
I get sort of bitchy (which now that I know the end of the dream I whole heartedly regret) and ask him to point me the way out. He points to a ladder going down. I explain that could not be the way out because I could have never climbed up that ladder holding cds and a shoebox. He assures me it is right and I stupidly trust evil, creepy janitor. I begin the descent down the elevator and drop half of the cds and the shoe box. As I reach the bottom of the ladder, I realize this is not the correct way out and I head back up the ladder. As I near the top the evil, toothless janitor stares down on me, laughing as he covers the exit with a manhole cover.
I am now officially scared of janitors, ladders, and boiler rooms.