Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Wednesday Edition of Out of my Tuesday Twilight Thinkin'

After a one week hiatus, everyone's favorite column is back! Yes that's right, I'm riding a blogging high right now after a week in which I have felt a ground swell (two people unrelated to me) have expressed their support for my blogging endeavors. I apologize for no Tuesday Twilight Thinkin' last week. I had things such as law school get in the way and then I planned on doing a Thursday special edition but things like trying to take my mind of law school (don't ever trust Bulgarian alcohol dear readers) got in the way.
The first round of March Madness every year is like when you first start dating some guy. After appetizers you think he might be the one, but by the time the check comes he has revealed he writes fan fiction for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Holy Cross didn't pull of the upset and you know this isn't going to be the year you pick all the games correctly and you toss your bracket and Brides magazine in the trash until next March . . . I really hate tomato soup but I really love tomatoes and I feel ketcup is a necessary evil for providing lubrication for french fries . . . I hate puffy vests. They don't keep my arms warm and (I'm sorry to say if for you puffy vest fans out there) they are ugly. . .
Do sports announcers not know the word lanky? Why do they insist on referring to every lanky player as "really long"? . . . I don't like things at room temperature. Even rooms. . . How did curiosity kill the cat? In the billiard room, with a candlestick by curiosity's right hand man Mr. Green . . . I only got two spelling words wrong in my elementary school spelling test career (success and legendary, if you must know). The odd thing about that is I am not really a very good speller. It seems that all of my ambition and drive in life was used up at a very early age in practicing for spelling tests. . . Robin Williams: not funny. You disagree? Think to yourself when was the last time I laughed, really laughed, not awkward laugh like you do when your drunk uncle says something at Christmas dinner, at anything he did? The answer will not involve anything made in the last ten years . . .
Are there tall pickpockets? It seems that it would be difficult to make a living picking a pocket if you were 7 feet tall. Does the placement of the pocket on the person discriminate against tall pickpocketers?. . . It makes me anxious when I start watching a basketball game and I do not know which team is wearing which jersey. The idea that I may cheer when the wrong team scores paralyzes me with fear. . . The worst moment of my childhood: Baby Jessica's well rescue preempting the final episode of "Rags to Riches" . . . .

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